Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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