That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It's never too late to be topless.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
