4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
