Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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