sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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