Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
