he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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