are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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