shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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