oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
