so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Drunk is not a location!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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