I CAN MOONWALK!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
