he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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