So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
