Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
