Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
