That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
