I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
