remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
