ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
