My nipple is on Facebook.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
