A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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