After last night, I could never be a politician.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
