if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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