are you still at the devil's house?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
