He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
