I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
