I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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