Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
