in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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