New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
