If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
so much tequila, so little girl.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
