its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
They have beer where we have blood.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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