okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
