her vagine was all disorganized.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
