I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
