Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
