Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
