A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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