i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
