bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
