Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
