you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
