The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
