Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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