Your tits are I can't wait for
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
