Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
