you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
