Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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