you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
