I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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