His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize