I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
